Apek Life

Sacrifice

2012-01-28T06:34:00.000-08:00

How long was I out from blogging? Just too excited to be home after 5 and half months living in Indonesia. It is good to be home. =)

It is worth the sacrifice. You know sometimes I always think when someone work hard then other people need to appreciate back what the person had done but I was wrong. You work hard and SHOULD not expecting anything back. Do it freely and willingly.

I always forgotten to look through the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ. We are so use to look everything through our own eyes and simply think, yes, I am right and you are wrong or I am wrong and you are right. When everything seems wrong, you felt you are on the edge, just remember our Lord Jesus Christ.

How amazing His love for us. It is our job to spread His amazing love to the others who are with us.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4

Today is my birthday, and a big thank you to all my friends who celebrated it. It is a meaningful day for me cause it makes me remember how great God loves for me who find me under the rubble of rubbish, my wonderful family and to my dearest mother who keeps on smiling from heaven. I always remember your great sacrifice for me.

Awaken

2012-01-08T19:48:00.000-08:00

Phew, so much work when coming towards final exams. Thank God I survived all those assignments and projects. Next, finals exam, go home and see results. Still got lots of things to settle when I come home. All those university stuff I haven't settle especially the study fees. HAHAHA! Awesomeness.

Planning to take my life to a new level. I just realize what I learn is just a grain of sand on a beach. I need to go forward. No more sitting in my comfort zone. Eyes opened widely already.

2012, a new year, a fresh start and many trials will be waiting. Greet it with a smile, patience and happiness. Lead my life with prayers and live by faith not by eyes. Amen.

Love Your Neighbours As Yourself

2011-12-02T02:14:00.001-08:00

I found out something quite interest. The greatest commandment "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" and the second greatest commandment is "Love your neighbor as yourself". It never teach about self satisfactory, how we should live our life for our own, and never love ourselves.

Another great teaching for me is, whoever exalted himself will be humbled and whoever humbled himself will be exalted. Our life is not for us. We live our life to show how Jesus love us. Spreading his love throughout the world and make known of His wonderfully grace and love.

From what I see, the greatest and the second greatest commandment is that, it concentrate on God and other people. Where does we go? We are given role to honor Him and to treat people as ourselves. Do you love other people judge you? Do you like other people talk behind you?

For it is written, do not judge for you too will be judge, for whatever measure you use will be measured to you. When we start to realize how great God love is for us and for others, our life means a different things for us. I never knew his wonderful love until I start try to love other people and always remember my life is not for myself but for His Holy One.

I was shocked when I first read that, when a person slap you, give another side of you cheek to be slapped. If a person were to say bad things about you, let him talk bad things about you. BUT we should never do such things to them back. We are not the judge of the world but God himself. Let God judge whoever is to be judge and we continue to spread his great love.

Feels Like Quitting Blog

2011-11-29T23:36:00.001-08:00

Feels like quitting blog nowadays. Not because of tired or something, just lazy to update. Besides, social networking is not really my kind. One of the reason my Facebook is still open is because I want to download pictures from there and just to keep in touch with friends. If not for that, my account will be long gone by now.

I prefer secretive rather than open up. More like a ninja where we are quick in covering our tracks. Hahaha. oh well....

Romans 14:13

2011-11-29T00:19:00.001-08:00

You Have Grown

2011-11-27T21:53:00.001-08:00

Looking at the picture posted by my friends, reminds me of them when I used to hang out with them. Looking back and now, Hey, you have grown! Face might look the same, but somehow I sense there is changes in the attitude and thinking.

It is all portray when we accidentally bump to each other in shopping mall, how we used to tease one another saying hey, what happened to you now? *Apa lu sudah jadi?* Or maybe while chatting, the obvious response and the TRADEMARK word always being used, make me miss the old time.

They have spread their wings and fly on different course with different destination. Looks like, it is time for me to spread my own wings too. To soar highly like the eagle in the sky. I always looking forward in meeting with all of you back my friend of 5 Science class 2007, one day.....

What Does The World Says?

2011-11-23T18:40:00.001-08:00

Ever listen to people say, the world say we have to do this and we have to do that? Without our own conscious, we also fall for the latest trend and fall with the wave of the world. Shaping you into something you are not meant to be.

What about our own? What do you think about your own voice in this world? Looking yourself up in the mirror saying something you want to be actually give you self motivation. When people look into mirror, they have this one thing in common; want to look beautiful/handsome. *I myself do that, nothing to be shy here* Then I found myself stumble upon the mirror, staring on it for quite some long time. *Not narcissist*

Then I realize something, when we look with our eyes, what we see actually affect us without us realizing. Ever realize the way your talk something tend to imitate other people? Your behavior develop when you mix with other people.

Other people affect you, but do you want other people to shape you to be what they want you to be? Of course, not all things are bad, maybe they want you to be a better person. Just take some time think about it. Remember, 'be the change you want to be' quoted by Mahatma Gandhi.

Programming Overdose

2011-11-17T00:07:00.001-08:00

Currently programming overdose, brain malfunction, process on pending, threading on hold. Program counter fetching the next instruction is currently lost and instruction are no where to be found. Talking about geek stuff. *hahahaha* oh well, that is what studying computer science are all about. Isn't it lovely. <3

Self studying programming is totally time consuming, maybe my level is not that high but I spend 3-4 hours on just doing some 5 lines of programming. Great. It is like progressing 0.01%.

Visual Basic Programming. The middle name of basic doesn't sound basic to me. It is like matlab all over again. Self study and do research on you own, seeking notes from all over the world. Yet the satisfaction on able to program a project is over the moon. Talking about able to do just a few line of coding conjecture euphoric moment.

Oh well, the brain seems to be overheated, time to play minesweeper. Did you see the 12% of winning? 100 wins over 800 rounds! HAHAHAHA! Sometimes I just press to get BOOM. =)

Awesome Sunday

2011-11-13T19:52:00.001-08:00

Yesterday is such an awesome Sunday! Of course it will be memorable as it is the first time pastor preaching with no electricity in the midst of the service! It prove that God can work without electricity! Such an amazing experience. Everyone was so calm and gently listening to the word of God. I was quite amaze actually. Thought they will cancel or wait until electricity come back but it they just continue. Hallelujah.

Such an awesome Sunday. Why? Because I was hoping pastor would preach for something about sin and how we will live out our life before Him and I did not expect pastor actually was going to preach that topic! Wheee~! God hear our prayer isn't it.

Jonah 2 : 7

When my life was ebbing away,

I remembered you, LORD,

and my prayer rose to you,

to your holy temple.

My First Webpage

2011-11-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

This is a link to my first ever created webpage! http://sherlockholmesadventure.cer33.com/ Pray do comment what is needed to be improve. It is hosted on a sub domain as a part of my web programming assignment. Not really my own domain thought. As I am currently still learning how to design webpage as to what function may be recommended to improve navigation or how to make it more interactive or even more creative.

Any ideas can be submitted to my email address ac_pyrix@hotmail.com or just comment on the chat box on the sidebar. All critic are welcome!

P/s I am just learning. =) So any advice will be most helpful to me. Thank you!

Review Life

2011-10-28T02:46:00.000-07:00

So much for studying and pressurized by exam and assignment, I decided to took some time off to review my life. Life is certainly ermmmm, full of life. With God, always be on watch for we do not know what to expect. Thereby expect what is expected and unexpected.

Upon reviewing my life so far, I still wander the purpose of life. As I mix with people, I learn by how they defined their life. To be happy, just enjoy, happy go lucky and so on. Hmmmm, of course my purpose is to be what God wants me to be.

Although I like to think a lot of everything, sometimes it helps me to be what I am today. It is fun actually, to think why and trying to answer it. Some question I find it no avail but to continue on searching actually kind of motivates me daily. Conclusion about my life so far? It is just the beginning. Nothing is too late to start. =)

Sweet Memories

2011-10-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, I was thinking back the old old days when I was just a innocence little boy. Out of the blue, I met another kinder mate, saying hi to me in Facebook. Wow, after a very long time. It is such a sweet memory only treasure inside a few people.

At first, I thought, I won't be meeting up any of them already, out of nowhere, knowing one by one out of nowhere. Life seems full of surprise huh. Oh well, still got how many more to search? Hmmmm, one thing for sure, hope one day I can find back my best friend during that time. If not mistaken, Eric is his name.

I wonder how much do people really change in the span of more than 10 years absence...........

Malaysia, Pray No Fighting

2011-10-18T22:26:00.000-07:00

Although I am still outside of my country Malaysia, I still keep myself updated with the current news. So much for fighting own religion rights which may cause another major setback among the harmony among the citizens of Malaysia. Isn't this a backlash to the so-called "freedom to practice own religion"?

Malaysian, the people of Malaysia, but still they are fighting for their supremacy in the country. Who shall stand on top and become honor among all the people. Just imagine a pole, if everyone want to stand on top of the pole, does it not push other people to the ground.

Just imagine this metaphor, why do most people inhibit the plains rather than living high on the mountainous ground. The ground bring more benefits than the benefit can be acquire on the top. People want more of fairness in the government, not fanaticism. As a country is striving high above the ground, do not forget what lay the foundation.

As old saying said, "People nowadays are too privilege and have a easy life. You will never know how hard life is until you taste the bitterness of it." Come on people, instead on providing ideas how to attack other religion, why not provide ideas on how to grow Malaysia. While we keep standing still and bickering, other people has already walk pass and say Goodbye.

Know you know why Malaysia is top of brain drain? Cause those people that migrate does not want to stand and fight aimlessly, but to contribute. Since Malaysia is not going forward, they thought themselves, I have to go forward elsewhere since Malaysia is stagnant.

Do not forget why Malaysia stand today. Why the name Malaysia change from once called "Tanah Melayu"? To show the unity to the world.

Time for Geek Life

2011-10-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

Time to enter a life of staring books and aimlessly looking at laptop thinking how to do assignment. Two weeks before mid-term exam. I spend 3/4 quarter of my life doing exam, what a life. Okay, so there is two more weeks, and I am waiting the last minute rush feeling to be release in my body. That will be the most productive time of my life.

Preparing for storm. Presentation and assignment are due a week before exam. Talking about craziness which sum up somewhere normal after being through the same thing over and over again.

Isn't thunderstorm are a nice thing to watch, however, it will be a different story if your are under it. Geek life isn't that bad, it is erm, people think it is bad that is why it is concluded to be bad. Oh well, here I am procrastinating and aimlessly staring at laptop like I said just now. How productivity in my brain currently? 0% Kudos.

Website assignment

2011-10-13T00:47:00.000-07:00

My web programming assignment. To create a website using notepad and are not allowed to use WYSIWYG editors (What You See Is What You Get-WYSIWYG). I am a bit dull compare to creativity, so I decided to create a simple website yet attractive.

Not easy, but I will continue to learn. Totally attracted my interest more in IT sector as it is a BIG FIELD! I wonder which field should I be mastering. Totally divert my focus on a single field. But it is okay I guess. Will tell the website name as soon as possible. Can't really host my own domain as it needed money so free domain uses sub-domain. So the name of the website will be kind of awkward. Any comment on how to make it attractive and things to add in please do tell. It helps me. =)

Trip to Bandungan

2011-10-09T23:19:00.000-07:00

Bandungan, a place like Cameroon Highlands, a cooling temperature of 16'C spiking your nerves. A retreat from the hot Semarang, a nice camp adventure but burdened with assignment in our mind. Not forgetting the tiresome journey of HAVE to wait for 2 HOURS stationary on a petrol station because someone was left behind! Yet, upon arrival, a huge relief rested upon our heart.

Nice right? How about a second trip? =P

A very nice place. Yet, the nightmare of have to sleep on the floor with super cold surrounding without blanket make it even more memorable.

Not exactly the place we are staying. Oh well, it look nice by the way. Whoever edit the picture, thanks, I downloaded through Facebook. =)

ROAR!!!!!

Didn't have a lot of pictures about the surrounding. So LAZY to take pictures. Anyway, oh well, hopefully more adventures and no assignment to come. =)

Rest in His Presence

2011-10-09T22:57:00.000-07:00

Assignmentcrashed in with some minor problem totally take the strength out of me.Technology advances totally prove to be something beneficial as to copy andpaste without writing out our own totally ease us like reading abc withoutwriting it.

When focusing on our assignment or work, we willfeel burdened and weary at the beginning or maybe at the middle. For me, at theend, as late minute rush certainly bring the best out of me. Thank God for yourdaily bread. As He said,

Cometo me, all you are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew11:28

Givethanks to the Lord for He is mighty. I always will sing hymn whenever I willbe. Hymn is an amazing song. It always give me strength and a peace of mindapart from any other type of music. When we sing, we focus on Him. He said, “Cometo me,…..and I will give you rest”. Isn’t it nice?

Disappeared

2011-10-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

I just realized some of my friends disappeared from Facebook. Hmmm. Got me thinking, hey, I am disappearing too. Oh well, Facebook fatigue I guess. Only log in to my Facebook account if got any discussion to discuss. Savor the moment until the time comes when we met again.

So many tasks to do, not to mention lecturer just sped by the notes and only 10% of teaching applied. Where does 90% go? Self-searching and self-study. Might as well teach only 10% of the given lecture time. Oops. It is so easy to evaporate but it is hard to condensed.

A very good life experience to encounter here. So many things to talk about yet limited time. Until next time.

Reason From What You See

2011-10-05T19:00:00.000-07:00

“Onthe contrary, Watson, you can see everything. You fail, however, to reason fromwhat you see.” quoted from the Blue Carbuncle from Sherlock Holmes Adventure.

Whenwe see something, the picture we capture in our mind is actually tell us inwords. We often did not realized about it cause it interpret automatically byour brain. Coherent to the famous quote “action speak louder than word”. I realized what we see actually speak more than what we hear.

Howoften can you remember other people speech or talk rather than remember theplace where the conversation took place? Try to reason from what you see whencircumstances comes to play. Wherever you are. In a conversation, in asituation, you can see how people react from you action/speech because they reasonfrom what they see.

Ibet you can learn something from it. It is called understanding, not judging ifI may, because our reasoning might be wrong. There is a time when we seeourselves (doing some self-assessment), reason with it. Like when you are bored,what are you going to do? Why you are bored? Does online idly or Facebook ableto cure you boredom? (Does reading my blog cures your boredom? Hopefully thatwould be yes. =P)

Do you know who the law of gravity created? Because Isaac Newton reason with his observation of a fallen apple.

Great is the LORD

2011-10-04T20:03:00.000-07:00

Allof my recent post may be about the word of God (Bible) cause, as I venturefurther day by day in my daily life, the more and more I need His daily bread.There is a reason why I am so captivated on travelling and meeting challenge.It may sound ridiculous but, sometimes I pray for mountain (hardship).

Itis against every part of me to pray that prayer but somehow, the Spirit in meprompt me to pray and ask for hardship. The reason why I love observing and travellingis because I wanted to see the work of God and how beautiful His creation is.

Youwill see it with your own eyes and say, ‘Great is the LORD – even beyond theborders of Israel!’

Malachi1:5

Godwork does not limited only to certain places but His work is the whole WORLD! Isee His work wherever I went (Penang and Malacca in Malaysia, and in Semarang,Indonesia – places where I have been and stay). It capture my heart when I see His work. How wonderful!? To see withyour very own eyes other people hardship and suffering, knowing how blessed youalready are. Even to see how blessed God’s people are, knowing He is at workeverywhere. WooHooo!

Certainlyfill my doubt sometimes, does God work every time even when I sleep. I know nowthat God is our watchman in our life. Did I ever tell you there is A LOT OFMOSQUITOES here? I pray, God protect me from those blood seeking mosquito. Cometo my surprise, I do not have any issues with mosquito in my room now even whenI sleep! Hallelujah! Usually when I am studying, I was attacked by mosquitoes, thenone time, when I turn my back wondering no mosquito assault, I see mosquitolying on the floor and die! (I know I didn’t kill it by myself before cause Ikeep track of the number of mosquito I already smack!)

AllI want to say it that, OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!

p/s*Reminder to those who love to smack me, my smack are getting stronger.*

Have you any right to be angry

2011-10-03T21:24:00.000-07:00

Thisword amaze me when I read the book of Jonah. It caught my attention so deepthat I begin to resonance inside my mind. The LORD replied Jonah when he wasabout when the LORD rise up a vine to shelter him from the scorching sun andthe LORD wither the vine and heat stroke strike Jonah that he got angry.

Butthe LORD said, “You have been concerned about this vine, though you didnot tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight.”

Jonah4:10

But the LORD replied, “Have you any right to be angry”

Jonah 4:4

Ithought for a second, WOW (not some abbreviation or something but WOW). Then Iwas thinking, have I any right to be angry after all this whole? The past whereunwanted situation arise and make us SO mad we at the instance lose our mind.(Maybe a person, a close friend, a family member? Perhaps even me who made youto read such annoying blog with no sense of direction!?)

I ALWAYS think back, hey I shouldn’t be angry at that timeor maybe that other time. When I keep thinking, I thought, hey I shouldn’t beangry all the time. Jesus said “Father,forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34

Our subconscious always think we have right for something(in Jonah 4:10 above where we keep concerned about something is not our rightuntil the conscious make it belong to our right), our world today is instillingthe our own right concept in ourselves whereby our right is actually in theRIGHTEOUSNESS of God!

Prayer

2011-10-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

I found it weird when going to church in Indonesia. I just remembered that I am Protestant and the church is Orthodox. So the service is totally different, and oh, not forgetting the language is in Bahasa Indonesian. Like Bahasa Malaysia(BM), more or less. (No offense but I think the whole issue of BM in Bible is simply just fanatic political issue.)

I remembered when I was in Malaysia still waiting for the day to come to Indonesia, I thought I might have difficulties in going to church. I prayed so that I might be able to attend church and I also pray that I will be prepare even if I am unable to. (I was like preparing the whole time, what am I going to do and dedicated myself every Sabbath doing my own service for myself.)

God is good, He blessed me with a Christian foster family. Hallelujah! Then I remembered the power of prayer, God tell us to build a life surrounded by prayers. Sometimes, my prayers are answered and some or not. Then I would think of why.

Then I thought of, sometimes God answered our prayer so that by that pray it will glorify Him and sometimes He didn't answered our prayer so that it can glorify Him. He is using us to glorify Him. I always thought why when we see people who suffer and didn't have they prayer answered, when they stay strong and committed to the Lord, it always touched my heart. Vice-versa, He use us so that other people can see His work.

When God didn't answered prayer, stay strong, be glad and know it is an opportunity to glorify Him.

China Town Semarang

2011-09-27T02:34:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, on the 24th of September, we went to Chine Town in Semarang, Indonesia. It only open on Saturday night and I think there is the only place where you can find Chinese Food, I think. Have not really explore Semarang yet actually.

The place quite nice, as we can see multi-racial people gathering there enjoying the environment together. Not just the Chinese but also the Indonesian people too! I extremely love the pork-chevron satay there! Delicious!! Finally I taste something nice other than the local food called tempe and some random fried chicken.

The entrance of China Town

The delicious satay that I mentioned.

I think that is the siomay we are eating.

Busy chowing the food while the other busy taking photo. Normal thing. =D

Posing in front of the satay store.

The delicious satay! Quite expensive actually. (10 stick for 45 000 rupiah)

Happy Ending. Wheeeeeeeeeeee~

Had an wonderfully awesome time there. At least it save my taste bud from weird food taste that I have being eating for the past weeks.

I Am Loving IT

2011-09-22T03:05:00.000-07:00

As I venture deeper and deeper into IT world, I fall deeper in love with it. A lot of interesting stuff to learn and how to apply. In entertainment, downloading, browsing, and sharing information(network). In coherence the hot topic of business. Since everyone is busy about making money, I am busy trying to grasp knowledge. To learn, learn and learn. Then apply, apply and apply.

Seems like I am turning myself into a computer geek. Like to immense myself with IT knowledge nowadays. Not forgetting, biblical knowledge. The true motivation and inspiration in my life, my Lord Jesus. Problems after problems is turning into lessons after lessons and finally it turns to how to love. *Laughing*

Not loving ASAM okay. Don't misunderstand. It is loving others. *smile* By the way, it seems very troublesome in using Facebook. Conclusion, you will see me less and less in Facebook. I think, I will quit Facebook for the meantime. If you have google+, you can add by my email. (ac_pyrix@hotmail.com)

In end with a verse from a song (all for love),

of how many times have I broken your heart, still you forgive.

Indonesia Life #2

2011-09-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

Life seems to getting even more interesting. Thank God for his blessing. Hallelujah. Apart from my usual dead studies, I am learning business also! In addition, help by a lecturer! (or dosen in Indonesia language) Trying to built a project here in Indonesia before leaving for Malaysia next year. Suddenly feel so compact as it is already the 2nd study week!

Thinking back the day I left the airport in Penang, I feel quite grown up already. *laughing* Reminder, I am ALREADY GROWN UP. Trying my best to grasp every knowledge and imply it in reality. My foster father told me, be dynamic in life.

Thinking back, from my observation, I think he (my foster father) is like me. His way of thinking, the way of reasoning and the philosophy he talk about. It is like, I was looking myself into the mirror. Kind of creepy when he told me he have being observing a lot of years. My behaviour totally restricted for a moment, but anyway, I act like myself after I went through this kind of experience before. Kind of know how to act eh?

Life in Indonesia

2011-09-16T02:51:00.000-07:00

Finally, able to blog after departed from my beloved Malaysia a week ago. Life without Internet is.... ~~undefined~~? I guess it is better if you think it yourself. Pictures will be uploaded by a given time as I am try to adjust my schedule since I am out of the world network when I am at home. Trying my very best to online to keep in touch with my family and friends.

Life in Indonesia so far is kind of normal for me. The vast different between Indonesia and Malaysia. Not forgetting the mosquito treatment. Thus, it has become an eye opener for me where life is totally different from my homeland. Excitement pulses me when there is 3 more peoples staying with us in a home stay. They are from Papua New Guinea. When they shared their life in they country and knowing how Indonesia life is, I really thank God for his blessing upon my life. As I always complain as I have not enough in my life.

Then, I realized, how to be thankful for God love! It really moved me here and by God grace, I will be able to complete my studies here for 1 semester learning not just education stuff, but what He have planned for me. Hopefully I may use that experience for my future and time to come.

Seeing the World

2011-09-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

I am going to see the WORLD! I feel great and anticipated for it. Study at Malacca really open my eyes and I feel thankful to God for the given opportunity. Headed to Indonesia in just as little as 2 days in conjunction of student mobility program.

I somehow feel happy inside leaving the island of paradise called Penang. Well, I will set my foot on this island again next year. It is so weird, last time when people said see you next time, it would take maybe a day to see each other again in school time. Then after graduate, maybe took months to see each other again. In the end, it took years.

Saying goodbye always is a mixed feeling. A mixture of sadness and happiness. Sad that we won't be seeing each other for a time being and happy that he/she is pursuing his/her future and grow to a whole new level. =)

Hopefully the experience I gain in Indonesia will come to good use and it would be a memorable journey. A journey of faith, hope and love.

Mindless

2011-08-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't have sitting mindlessly. When that happened, every bits of picture upon my eyes slowly disappear into vague figure and it will be Journey Back To The Past.

Sweet, sad, happy, boring, grieve, you name it, is how it felt journeying in the past memories. I stumble a picture. It caught my attention, sudden pain fills me in seconds, not just seconds milliseconds perhaps. Wow, I haven't feel that quite some time. HAHAHA!

Every receptor in my body tells me to turn away from the picture, but Holy Spirit tell me to stop, look and think. I was like, this must be joking isn't it. I said, "Ok." to myself. (Soundly like a person who have gone mad in the living room talking by himself.)

I thought I am a masochist or something. At the moment, the picture of Jesus being torture comes to my mind. How does He felt when Judas betrayed Him? How does He felt when He is tortured and being spit by the people who He decided to save? How does He felt when He was at the cross looking down on the people who He love?

I said to myself something beyond my imaginary of what I could said. "If that pain is what Jesus felt, and I felt it myself, thank you for this pain O'Lord.". It contradict what I will predict I would said, Lord, of all pain, why this pain that I have to gone through instead of thank you.

I continue to stare and stare and stare on the picture. Until I realize the second greatest commandment Jesus said, Love your neighbour as yourselves (Matthew 22:39). It is not about you, it is about Him, it is not about you it is about her/him.

Manga Spree!

2011-08-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

Slept at 4 a.m, what a feat! Hahaha. Its being 4 years since I ever slept on that time. Totally immense reading Hunter X Hunter manga. One of my favourite besides Bleach and Detective Conan. Read from episode 180 to 312 it just one day. HAHAHA!

Once I was totally excite in reading, there is no stopping even without realizing what time it is. I stop and look at the clock, gosh it is 4 a.m already!

As old saying said, "The book you read certainly has a bookmark in our life." Manga certainly cannot be exempted, it is a book! I need to thank my critical thinking to Detective Conan which eventually helps me liking the Adventure of Sherlock Holmes.

The characteristics of the character shape me in a way of two when I think about it. No wonder in school they teach me literature and short stories. Do you know how I hate that subject. Well, it definitely help me in reading manga and playing games! HAHAHAHA!

Quit Gaming

2011-08-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

Finally, I quit gaming. My addiction on gaming already linger on me ever since I am just a little kid. The first sight of my love on gaming is on Final Fantasy 8. One touch and the rest is history. Nowadays, with high specification and no nonsense graphic has robbed me of gaming parallel to the cost of upgrading and buying more advance specification.

Xbox 360, PS3 and online game deteriorate my addiction even more. What irony is that games actually overcome my addiction. Bored story line, unattractive game play and the same kind of graphics is the reason.

Some may say gaming is bad, but actually it taught me a lot of lesson about life and gave useful advise. Not forgetting how to strategize a plan. One of the great memory is non other than Final Fantasy. The game is totally awesome and wicked. Many lessons can be learn and have some of the best music created by Nobue Uematsu (A legend!).

"Only a jackass can change the world." quoted from Auron (Final Fantasy X-2).

Awesome Experience

2011-08-11T05:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, had an awesome time with my church friends. Totally amazing. Actually it is suppose to be a briefing about something, but for me, it is a wonderful experience to be able to hear what they talk about.

I suppose this is the first time to be able to sit down and hear other believer talk about their experience and their own view. They are so, erm, how should I put this, errrrr, passionate when they talk. Nonetheless, they seems to know everything related to a question.

I was there sitting down quietly and listening their point of view. I try to add in some stuff too. I felt kind of awkward as I am quite new. But hey, I blended in just as their own. Then I realize something in the end. How inadequate my knowledge is. *Laughing*

Totally awesome as we talk about our past experience and what we think about life. It is just simply amazing and wonderful. Hallelujah.

Do or Do Not

2011-08-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

"Do or do not. There is no try." said Master Yoda while training Luke in Dogobah. A fictional character known for his wise teaching in the sequel of Star Wars.

Upon encountering the quote, I was thinking, it was actually quite true. It is either do or do not when you want to do something. Often when I said I will try, I will ended didn't do anything at all or ended up not doing in the middle.

Master Yoda continue, "You must feel the energy around you. That what make it grow even the nature." Apply when you do something, you need to feel what is around you. How to synchronize with you. If not, I think that is why I always doing things half way and abandoned it. Tired, lazy and all sort of reason will be used.

Something excites me when I do something I love. Able to feel the energy around you, gushing up inside out and motivates me. Do or do not. There is no try.

Tinkering

2011-08-08T03:34:00.000-07:00

After hearing a video message on Sunday during Alpha session, it brought me to think one of the conversation that has spoken, Jesus said, "I am who you think I am.". So Jesus is what we think who He is. Son of God, a great teacher, a prophet?

I read a book once about philosophy, could not remember the title of the book since I didn't bought it and read it in a bookstore. A book about all the ancient great man. From Plato, Aristotle to Confucius and so on including Jesus and Mohammed. He theorized that all these people are all great tinker and amazing teacher.

The message is clear. It all came down to what you believe, not what other believe. There may be people influence your thoughts and actions. A panache speak like President Obama. One thing is the existence of God is clearly undeniable. Books written century ago, people experience and how they felt when they believe in God.

Hearing the video, he gave a number of people on why they believe in Jesus. All of them simply have different reason. That is why Jesus said, "I am who you think I am.". I on the other hand believe in Him because of death. Death is so enigmatic and powerful. He conquer one clear logic that people die will never be rise up again. Believing in God take more than logic. It take hope, faith and love. But the greatest of these is love.

200th Post Milestone

2011-08-07T06:07:00.001-07:00

It's being more than 2 years since I become a blogger. Approximately 2 years from 2009 until present (2011), and I have reached 200th post milestone. I would like to thank my beloved reader whom have read and follow my blog. A big thank you to the awesome God who make my life interesting in every angle, without it I would not even think of blogging and reaching 200 post.

Do pray for me that I will have the zest to continue updating my blog and entertain you all with my life, thoughts and wonderful event. Best regards.

Smiling off,

Apek

Paints of Word

2011-08-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

P/s : I apologize that I took your picture without permission for creating this video. Anyway, enjoy people. Sorry for stalking your Facebook in the same time. =)

Be Blessed

2011-07-31T06:42:00.000-07:00

Be blessed, be loved and be glorified, how amazing you are LORD. Thank you Lord for the smooth preparation of my mobility program. Awesome things happened when you put faith in Jesus.

My friends mobility program were cancelled due to certain management error, while mine are finalized and they are following me. At first there are just 3 people including me going to a chosen university while the other 9 people choose to go other university, now 12 of us are going together to the same university!

Praise the Lord. I was already prepared to embark to journey with just 3 of us with a bit of anxiety and figure how hard it will be for the next semester. Now plan has changed, feeling more comfortable knowing more people are going together.

Amazingly, three of us are given pocket money to go there plus free accommodation, free food and free transport! Praise the Lord. Hallelujah! But I pray O'Lord that the other 9 people will be given pocket money as they have the same privilege just that they did not have the pocket money due to they opted for other university at the first place.

Lord, may your blessing shower down upon all of us O'Lord. Not just us, but everyone O'Lord. Amen!

Random People

2011-07-28T14:59:00.001-07:00

I slept two night in a bus which is a total of 12 hours of sleep and travel approximately 900 km in the span of three days.

Met quite a few of random people, some scare me and some of them looks weird to me. Well, here is a list of random people I met along the journey.

1. Annoying Nepalese. Totally piss off all of the passenger in the bus. Am he lucky that no one go and confronted him. Only a person shouted from the front to the back (where he is sitting) to slow down his voice.

2. An uncle who is from Kuala Lumpur. Randomly ask me to read his Digi reload number because he has long sightedness (Hyperopia). We had an awesome chat (that is what happen when two Apeks met) after that while waiting for the bus, he gave me some advice on travelling. He told me, he never bought bus ticket and always bribe the bus driver for some cheaper journey. AWESOME isn't he.

3. A couple which is sitting right beside me. Cuddling at the back of the bus trying to get some awesome time while ME have to try my best to get some sleep. Duly noted that we sat at the back of the bus. They woke me up in the middle of journey because they heard VOICES from behind. They told me it was a ghost and they totally freak out. Oh my, I told them it is just the backup driver which usually sleep behind.

Annoyed

2011-07-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

Sat in a double-decker bus for the first time and it is not something to be remembered. In accompany of a Nepalese who talk so loud until the whole bus can be heard, it even went through my head phone. Gosh.

If it were English at least I can eavesdrop but he spoke in Nepalese language called Nepali. Oh my, like a loudspeaker with an amplifier. He annoyed some of the passenger and one of them even shout at them telling to it soften down. That Nepalese didn't know what that guy was telling him and he continue.

That passenger look at me and said, "Bodoh punya orang." (Stupid people.) I was pretty annoyed that time also but I choose to sleep since it is already midnight and I am worked up for the day.

Headache?

2011-07-27T01:16:00.000-07:00

As the deadline departing Malaysia is coming to its end, more and more trouble keep on arising. Suddenly information I receive contradict with one another. Some of my colleague said this while the other said a totally different story.

Thus, headache built up in my brain? Things should be okay I guess. My inner peace when people are worried and nervous makes me feel weird. Encounter this kind of situation quite a lot of times as experience make people wise isn't it?

Encounter problem with stress and encounter problem with peace are two different things but leads to a same end which is, you have to deal with the problem. The different is the road you taken to the end.

My father told me this.

"Why would you use a shorter road to go home when it is jam? Would it not be more frustrating?"

"But if I use a longer road to go home, the time taken will be longer and wasting fuel."

I took the shorter road while he took the longer road. We reach home at the same time.

"Dad, we reach the same time and use the same amount of fuel."

"But how do you feel in the end?"

I laughed. "You got me this time dad. Next time I will race you!"

Then I was thinking about the phrase, "For every second your choose to frown, you lost that second to be happy."

We got the choice to choose the road but reaching home with different feeling is two different thing.

Try Softer

2011-07-26T23:21:00.000-07:00

When there is times where trying hard to get something doesn't work, then you should be thinking of try softer.

Taken from the book "The me I want to be" written by John Ortberg.

There is an old story of an ambitious young person approaching a master and saying,

"I want to be your student, your best student. How long must I study?"

"Ten years."

"But ten years is too long. What if I study twice as hard as all other students?"

"Then it will take twenty years."

There is a river of life all around . But you can't push it.

Try softer.

"Faith does not need to push the river because faith is able to trust that there is a river. The river is flowing. We are in it." -Richard Rohr-

Don't push the river

It Is Getting Nearer!

2011-07-25T18:04:00.000-07:00

1 more month towards Indonesia, I am pretty cooked up. Excitement feels my nerves unleashing chills everyday I woke up. Don't know how the place is like, the people and the environment.

Hopefully can experience some earthquake or volcano eruption. Yea, I know it is better for not disaster to happened but I live in a country free of natural disaster. I want to know how it feels like knowing something bad bound to happen.

How it is going to affect our everyday life, your behaviour and your thinking. Maybe it can teach me to live my best in every new day. Is natural disaster and black day influence how Japanese attitude today?

Oh, nevermind about that. I will be headed to Malacca tomorrow. Wheeee~! Asam-asam sekalian, I am coming~! Hahahahaha. Don't understand? That's too bad mate. =P

NONSENSE! Thanks to someone of creating the idea of Asam, I have to live with it ever since that. So does the name of "Apek".

Well, you got to live to make people happy isn't. Knowing them happy and smiling right give you some moment of happiness aight?

Time For A Change

2011-07-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning, nice cold breeze sweeping past my room and I thought I wake up in Cameroon Highlands. The trip definitely leave a mark in my memories.

Nice scenery and amazing moment with my friends yet there is one thing that I realize, I am a guy and the rest is girls. Awesome it was, but I feel a bit awkward in conversation and behaviour. A girl and a guy converse totally is different thus the topic they discuss is totally different.

While some of them clicking away the camera until smoke came out of it (talking about I don't know how many picture they took), some were having a drama of husband and wife caught my attention.

Talking about Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Comparing my trip to Langkawi with all guys, everything is totally different. Yet, it is worth the trip to Cameroon Highlands. It brought a whole new level of thinking towards me.

To see how naive I was and how inadequate my knowledge was thus it is time for a change.

Another World

2011-07-24T02:23:00.000-07:00

Another world, how I long to thee. Waiting up whole day, standing in the ray of light to catch a glimpse of your last stand on the stage.

Two worlds that I see, apart of it is seen in my eyes another like a nebula glittering in my mind. Sounds crazy but that is kind of true, I am seeing two world apart. Often when you see me stare in the blankness (they called it emo), my mind has already wander off to another world thinking.

How the last light shines, changing the colour of skies before another day comes. Showing there is hope in one last sunset, how beautiful the painted skies.

Questions after questions feels my thoughts, making me ignore what is happening around me. Could not care less than what my mind searching for the answer that I thought. Never ending it was until the last day where I shine before I painted the skies like the sun.

From the east to the west it shines, telling us hope is not found on one side. Darkness take over but the star shimmering upon it for there is light

As how the star reflect the sun light, hope is reflect through you. A man hopes becoming another man hopes, reflecting brightly upon his life. O'how beautiful it shines standing among the realm of darkness. The world I think and the world I see is different, what I know there is light.

Exhausted

2011-07-23T23:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, just came back from trip to Cameroon Highlands, afterwards went to dinner with my dad and then, a friend of mine called me out.

"Dude you back in Penang already r?"

"Yup. Just came back only."

"Just reached r?"

"Yup. Just arrive, stepping down from bus. HAHAHAHA"

"Haha. So I guess you're too tired to hang out aight?"

Without hesitating, I agree on his invitation and hang out until midnight. Talking about exhausted. Reach home, straight towards my bed and slept.

Next day, needed three times of alarm clock sounding in order to wake me up. Gosh.

My Favourite Quote

2011-07-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

All hard work brings a profit;

but mere talk leads only to poverty.

Proverb 14:23 (NIV)

This quote has bring me through hard and pain, low and dry everytime. Hope it will help you brighten your day and full of zest!

Your lovely,

Apek

My Bad Temper

2011-07-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

I wonder where is my once infamous bad temper went. Famous for finding fight when playing football, futsal or floorball thanks for my bad temper and my unquenchable spirit of do not want to lose. (Sort of like beh kam bhuan attitude - in another way, losing is not an option.)

Sometimes feel like almost blown it, but somehow able to sustain my temper. I finally able to comprehend EQ (Emotional Intelligence)? Of course there is something more amazing than IQ and EQ, God. The realization of you are not in control but God does, make everything even clearer.

Yet, if I do nothing to overcome my temper, how can God bless me? When there is nothing for the Almighty to bless! Being in control of my feeling is helped by my awareness of my mind.

Aware when you are tired, annoyed and moody always leads to temper eruption.

Aware what action you did in the next few seconds will affect.

Aware of other people feelings.

Most importantly, aware the presence of the Lord.

Though, I am not fully able to control my temper, at least it is getting better. I learned. Often feel like I am the worst but being able to overcome the worst is always the best.

I am a Funny Man

2011-07-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

You heard, but do you believe it? Recently, out of the blue inspiration I decided to be the entertainer in my family. Do some nonsense things and lamest joke you will ever heard earn me a reputation of being a funny man from my brother.

This morning, after coming back from the immigration office doing passport, I open my door and saw my brother awake.

Involve a bit of hok-lish (Hokkien plus English)

Me : Wah, a neh cha kun cheh ar? (Wow, so early wake up?)

Brother : Abo, sian ka lu meh? (If not like you r)

*While my brother was brushing teeth, with his half awake face*

*I go tickle him then open the refrigerator take out a cold water bottle and place in on his body*

Brother : Kanneh! (What the heck!?)

Me : Kun cheh a boi? *HAHAHAHA* (Wake up already r now?)

*Smack. His leg landed on my ass with his wake up face and smiling*

*Do remind that he is still brushing his teeth while this incident happen*

Well, at least got him awake and smiling.

Before that, while having breakfast with my dad and after doing passport.

Me : Aiyo, a neh nia do passport. Wa kua a neh tan khor eh before this.

(So easy do passport only. Before this I saw people do like so difficult.)

Dad : Aboh, erm see tan khor, ka nya lu pun tua nia. *Smile*

(If not, it is not difficult but only you are lazy. *Sarcastically saying that*)

I was laughing all the way when he said that. Acting silly sure can bring people to smile. The very least, got attack verbally from my dad all the way. HAHAHAHAHA.

Your lovely,

Apek

Bersih 2.0 Rally (My Own Views)

2011-07-09T06:01:00.000-07:00

Showing my support for Bersih 2.0 rally which happened today (9th July 2011) with all my fellow Malaysian marching toward a better future. What can I say, this shows how many Malaysians are concerned for their country. For once, they are not represented by the voice of politicians but the voice of the country. Thus the true purpose of the rally cannot be diverted for the good of dearest politicians. What matter most, it is not about who will win the general election (speculate on next year), it is all about doing things in a righteous way.

All of us have heard it, most of us knew what happened today. Remember 9th July 2011. Some will mark that as another black day like what happened on 13th May. Facebookers show support for them and some oppose the rally. For me, the true intention of passing the petition to Yang di-Pertuan Agong is the calling of the Highness to come to action. Our Highness is the highest position in the country and the symbol of our country Malaysia. Our prime minister is just a representative of a coalition who of course have to side his own party. Thus, thoughts and decision might have being influenced if it went through Prime Minister.

Why can't the government praise the opposition if their intention are good while they are fighting for the country NOT for the party. The parliament deserves praises for upholding the country for so many years. Still why can't they accept a change? John C. Maxwell said "Leadership is influence." There claims about 50 000 people join the rally and it just happened in one state. If all state will participate in its own place, do the figure. This rally of course is inevitable.

Even Malaysian from other country took note of what is happening in their country. Some have even migrate from Malaysia but they still shows they care about their birthplace. Tanah Tumpahnya darahku. Some may scorn them about leaving their own country, but true patriotism lies in our heart wherever we are. Leaving country does not mean we do not love our country, we want to show our love towards our country in other countries. Pray not quick to judge others too.

In a interview posted, asking a politician about "Why does a democratic country does not allow protest?" All he answered, I sum it up is beat around the bush. By the sound of it, his thoughts already being influenced by his emotions and unable convincingly give an answer.

National laureate A. Samad Said even join the rally. Someone with his kind of talent joining the rally signify the realistic of what is happening in our parliament. People with such beauty in words and creative in portray feeling into poems definitely have see something is wrong.

In the movie 2012, quoted "Mankind lost their humanity when they stop fighting for each other." We want to fight for the right of our brethren, sisters, our future and of course our country.

Who Is My Dream Girl?

2011-07-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

"Who Is My Dream Girl?" I encountered this question quite a few times. (Majority come from girl.) Question that come from guy is, "Got girlfriend already or not?".

My answer?

.......

I do not have a dream girl. I do not have any visual how my dream girl will look like. Somehow a friend of mine ask me in a different kind of perspective and ask me what characteristic would you like to see in a girl.

Hmmm...... I ask them back, what would your dream guy will be? She answered, "Definitely not bald and fat. I simply could not imagine that." One of them reply.

Of course, most of us would prefer a perfect partner but that will only exists in our dreamland on far away island. Too many opinion and thoughts have already influenced me what kind of girl would I go for. Experience encounter by myself and others totally blank me out of even thought of dream girl.

No escaping the question, my dream girl would be a girl with a short hair like Victoria Beckham. HAHAHAHA! I always got killed by that hairstyle and mean looks.

*I love her hairstyle to the max! I try to copy her front hairstyle but totally failed. Major setback*

The body do not need to be so curvy or size 8. Do you know why winding road always cause accident? *Figure yourself on how it is related =p*

If I would have to list all of the characteristic, it would definitely need a long time to type down all those, so let make it simple shall we. All I need is, she needs to be.....

Simple, plain and be herself. Easy isn't it. Things start to be complicated and demanding environment if we ask for more. It always come with 3 things, love, forgiveness and giving.

I don't know, but well, that is just an illustration. Who knows who will be my future partner.

P/s : I love my reader! =)

I Am Going Back

2011-07-06T21:01:00.000-07:00

It seems like I always confuse myself with the sentence "I am going back". Malacca or Penang? Hmmm... Well, let set things straight, I have to go back Malacca to settle my mobility program (student exchange program) after receive message from the Vice Dean of Academic.

The problem is, I have no place to stay in Malacca and I have no transport there. Aiyo. Looks like I have to drive there! Oh my. Solo drive? I don't know, all I know it is 6 hours of driving. Maybe stay at hotel for 1 night or straight go, and straight come back? HAHAHA. I think the car will be overheated if 12 hours of ongoing journey in just one day.

Decisions, decisions and decisions. Come on Apek! Let's do this.

P/s : Erm, do what huh??? O.o

Infected by Leptospirosis?

2011-07-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

In my 2nd semester, I didn't realize I was infected by Leptospirosis bacteria. This happen during kayaking, where all of us are doing water confident and I was assign to be a life guard in the lake. Of so many people, why only me that got infected? (When all of us are in the lake but I am one of the longest to stay in) Is it really Leptospirosis?

I didn't have symptoms like headache or nausea. Certainly I did have the annoying rash where it come and go. Totally uncomfortable wherever I went. It is not that kind of itchiness sort of thing. It is like, spiking itchiness and make your whole body feels like want to peel of our skin. Or is it shaking chills. Urgh, I told you, it was terrible of having gone through half of the semester feeling like that especially it is almost finals.

The annoying rash, which always playing hide and seek in my body. Argh!!!!

By the way, how did I know about the presence of Leptospirosis in the lake? Well, of course, I WAS just inform today in Facebook. !@#$%^&*

When I read the post, I owe everything to Jesus. Thank you Lord. Because you healed me! Even though some of my friends did advice me to seek doctor but I persist that Jesus will heal me! I have faith in Your healing power Lord and I am healed! Amen! On top of all, knowing my results and having gone through my studies with such ailment makes me even in awe to You. Totally unforgettable experience!

Though I personally think this semester (2nd semester) I was spiritual quench. But it makes me stronger and willing to strive even further!

Holiday #1

2011-07-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

What a long semester break, while at first planning to find job to do, unpredictably I am unemployed for more than 1 month already. Enjoying myself to the max, but money still play a vital role in everyday life.

One of the main reason why I do not want to find a job for the moment is that, after finish studying, you will be working for the rest of your life with limited holiday and only the end of the world will allow you have a long holiday.

Thus I am the extra luggage in my family whereas all my family members are working. That is why I limit myself on spending. 1 meal per day? Sounds crazy but yea, sometimes. HAHAHA. Maximum also 2 meals per day.

While cutting the expenses on food, I am able to explore more about Penang! Some Penangnites might live here but they do not know some places when mention. Of course, can crave some good food while exploring. They are still many good food around Penang beside all the famous food that always being mention.

Penang, not really being classified as concrete jungle yet, I can still enjoy the wonder of nature. The fresh air, *deep breath* is so refreshing. While in the jungle, can discharge some of the negative ions that is being built in our body making our body more energize. (Read some article but I couldn't remember.)

Not to mention, what a great Sunday morning today is. Ahhhh, the morning clouded by the rain. So peaceful.

Visit To Tomyam (Raja Uda Penang)

2011-07-02T05:09:00.000-07:00

Last two week, on Friday, went for the famous tom yam at Raja Uda (Penang Mainland). News about the food taste nice is sort of misleading. It is not the exactly the taste I want to be in Tom Yam. It is sweet!?!?!? What the?!?! Traditionally opted for super spicy Tom Yam ended up disappointed. Luckily, the day before, I do a bit of research myself and my friends told me not to expect highly of the Tom Yam.

TaDAAAAA. The picture is definitely not taken by me. (I don't own a camera! If I do, my blog will be fill with pictures since I like to travel in Penang searching for awesome food and scenery.) Shots taken by CMY (hidden due to privacy reason?).

(Definitely not mine. I DON"T EAT VEGETABLES!!)

SLURPSSS. Some civilize food. NO VEGE!!! HAHAHAHA

All of them look so SWEET here! (Especially me huh? *Cough cough*)

The Awesome Group (Why la she close her eyes when all of us are smiling sweet here!?!?!?)

One Word "Wow"

2011-06-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

Wow, definitely not World of Warcraft. (I will be broke if I play that awesome game) While practicing my guitar singing Amazing Grace. A bee came into my house. Thought of killing it before it cause damage on my body, I continue practice. Amazingly, the bee didn't go buzzing around the light, it just sit on the cabinet.

Hmmm, maybe it is listening to the tune of guitar but definitely not my singing. My singing will cause armageddon in people heart if they heard it. So, to prove my theory wrong, I go disturb the bee, and it start buzzing around with me running for cover. Afterwards, went to take my guitar and start playing. It calm down again. I was like "Wow".

Of course, if my facts are right, a bee that is lost is going to die. Maybe the bee need peace before dying. I guess creatures are just like human, they too need peace and music calm soul.

Form 5 Add Math

2011-06-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

Here I am, doing Form 5 Add Math, request from a friend of mine to help him up. Gosh, I don't even remember the formula already. Plus the question is quite, challenging? HAHAHAHA. The question is by far tricky yet like case study problem. Oh my. I am at my wits end doing case study question in university.

At least, the question is straight and not so twisted. Tricky and dangerous. Oh, I just love it. (Sarcastically) I should have learn on how to say no for some reason. If not I might ended up everytime saying yes when people ask for my help. All I can say is, I need HELP!?!?!?!?!?!

Reunion #1

2011-06-07T03:56:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, the long waited reunion. Thanks none other to W.o.T (Vin) and I guess another one is Juju. Interesting things has already occur before all of us arrive. I heard there is a Tokyo Drift (Penang Style) happened on Jelutong Expressway? HAHA. Of course, the rush towards the dinner happened thanks to none other than me! I should have follow my instinct that the reunion dinner will be at 7 p.m. but the message I arrive stated 6 p.m. Argh, I knew it! HAHAHA. Well, there goes.

Let cut this short and simple and equally fun ya. Suppose all of us are civilized already cause all of us is 21 years old (not counting the birthday date). Well, let just say things got out of hand and it became a havoc in the restaurant. I forgotten what is the name already. (Mizi I think)

So pity couples who have a romantic date in the restaurant. The mood totally destroyed by laughter and some crazy moments. Can you believe there is a milk fighting? HAHAHA. Hmmm, oh ya, first time met Becky boyfriend (Alan). Lucky the name is not Adrian huh. HAHAHAHA!

First impression? Hmm, I haven't knew him totally yet, can't say what is he interest in. So I can't really talk to him. One thing I can remember from the conversation with him is, "I thought you are Malay". HAHAHAHA. Oh my, my figure totally fool everyone. Thanks to my toasted skin. Well, that is the amazing feature of myself I have to say.

All ends well, some have change some still the same. All in all, they are my friends! *smile*

I Love Sherlock Holmes!

2011-05-26T07:18:00.001-07:00

I LOVE Sherlock Holmes! Of course, not the movie but the novel. Fascinated with his logical methodology and being able the break the logic under given circumstances. Thus I have being reading Detective Conan author by Gosho Aoyama. I am definitely a big FAN of detective stories!

My passion in watching C.S.I prove even much more my passion towards solving problem. Oh yea. I am in love. Wish I can be like Sherlock Holmes. My hobby of thinking and observing drive me even more nuts.

I have to met an "Irene Adler" someday. HAHAHAHA. Beautiful with brain yet wickedly in a way. Gosh, I shall continue reading back Sherlock Holmes novel. Back to my own Baker Street. HAHAHAHA.

Waste Time

2011-05-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

Making a gathering takes a lot of effort and not just the effort of organizer, but the effort of everyone. If everyone were to care on their own important stuff, a gathering involving everyone is impossible.

It also depends on where your commitment lies. Believe it or not, I simply can't cope with people who can't keep their words. Action speaks louder than words. I am tired of sacrifice my time just for other people. Sometimes I feel it is waste of time?

Intensive Training

2011-05-21T22:22:00.001-07:00

Lately, what I have being doing is exercise, exercise and exercise. Trying to get myself fit back again. Last time I can do 8 rounds jogging in botanical garden. Sadly now, 4 rounds feels like fish out of water. Totally unfit.

Gasping for air after jogging is being a norm for me lately compare to last time while after finishing my target of 8 rounds, I feel I want to go for more! Or go hiking after doing my 8 rounds. Unhealthy living style has being poisoned my lifestyle.

Nowadays, after finish exercising, after one day, I will feel muscle ache and very hard to walk and even wake up or sit down! Oh my. There it shows how unfit I am. Thanks a lot Malacca. HAHAHA.

BUT recently I received a compliment that I look young! HAHAHA. Take that people who always called me "Apek" and old. They said I look like 17 years old but actually my true age is.... Well, much much older than that of course.

So That Is What It Meant

2011-05-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

Remember I dream about I was running non-stop around the circle. As if I was chasing after the wind? God actually told me to STOP! He already signal and hint me about what is coming! I need to STOP running after my selfish gain.

When I stop, I feel peace again. Not like a tormented soul. I feel calm and peace. More focus and refresh! How great is our God isn't it. Honestly, it is AMAZING! HAHAHA. HOSANNA!

I have Forgotten What It Takes

2011-05-02T04:31:00.000-07:00

After months of being cold in the holiday and the fear of encountering the problem I once face when becoming a leader, I totally forgotten what it takes to be a leader. Scare, anxiety and fear took hold of me. I labelled myself as rubbish. Totally rubbish. Why can't I? WHY?!?!?!

Time for some serious makeover and change my personality. Yet again. Sometimes I feel tired, sometimes I feel want to leave and run away to a desolate island. Away from human. Wherever there is human, there is bound to be problem. If possible, I WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS EARTH.

I feel like quitting my job as a human. I want to release all my thoughts, and stop thinking. STOP! STOP! STOP! Being human doesn't make sense anymore to be.

LORD, the process of breaking me and making me whole again seems hard and tired for me. Is this what it takes to the next level? The true meaning of growing? Am I ready for such circumstances? You know what is best for me. Surely I will follow your way. This trouble is a stepping stone. I know why God want me to go through this process again. To apply Your way and learn from Your way. Not this world principles but the principles of You Lord. The way towards life.

Seriously

2011-04-29T22:15:00.000-07:00

"Seriously I need to take things lightly." this phrases I have heard many time yet I have to be reminded so many times. Aiyo. WHY!!!! Nevermind.

Seriously, exam today and having chat with my former classmate in MBS Form 6. The good old time eh? Catching up with her and how she is doing this semester. Everything is good! Amen.

Beside, I know what you meant just now. I will try to work on it. Thanks. I always being blinded what is in front of me. Thank again.

Want to know what my friend told me? It is a S-E-C-R-E-T! HAHA. Blek. =P

Time To Reconcile

2011-04-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

Time to reconciles with every friend. One thing that I am really bad at is cultivate on relationship. My attitude is like "Hi" and "Bye". What make it worse is that, I very seldom making new friends and I am more sticky towards old and close friends. The term of close friend average of 1 or 2 years of friendship.

The reason? Cause in order for my body to function properly, I need to understand you fully before I can make it to the next stage. Understanding you fully, on your attitude, thinking perspective and your lifestyle. Why? I do not want to cause any misunderstanding and hurt other people feelings.

I tend to thinking and adapt my behaviour towards my friends behaviour in order the wavelength connect. So, we can enjoy each other presence. That is the weakness. I need time in order to fully becoming other people friend. Argh.

It is funny right, but well, have to accept these fact though. Try hard to change this attitude but fail miserably. Still trying. =) I need to become more friendlier and warming for others! Holidays are coming! Wheeeeee~~ Try my best not to hang on computer screen BUT need to a bit of self-study since I well be in INDONESIA next semester which I will be TAKING INSANELY CRAZY PLUS HEAVY SUBJECT!

Toddles~~ *Love from your elder APEK*

Dreams

2011-04-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

As always, I always dream about something and weirdly I can remember almost every dream that I dreamed about. Yesterday was the most bizarre dream. I was running round and round without stopping as it seems no end.

Going through a cycle after cycle. I woke up with the fear of am I running through the cycle of just sleep, wake up, study, eat, work, play and die. Am I being drown by this cycle of no direction and as far I can see, everyone cycle in their life is almost the same. Are we robots so to speak. We live to die in conclusion?

I am so easily distracted from the things on earth. At first, I may realize I may walk a righteous path, after some time, I stop and wonder, where am I anyway? What have I become? Are we chasing after the wind?

I close my eyes trying to have peace for a moment.

"You remember me?"
"Yes."
"Come, let walk this journey together."

Thank you Lord Jesus, for showing me the understanding of your words. You have shown me the meaning of your words. Though I may fail at that moment, but I learn from those moment. Failures are just one of the condition towards success.

Concern Citizen

2011-04-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

As a citizen of Malaysia, I am aware of the General Election is coming and on going issues that the nation is having. I recently so up-to-date with the politics news, and what I think about is, all those statement are rubbish. Trying to convince here and there with manipulated words and always using the issues of race to try to woo the voters.

It's seems that our dearest politician is craving for power in the nation and deciding who has the right to stand on this earth. All they want to do is just to completely CONFUSE us. Don't you see, there is truth hidden in the way the opposition and government speaking.

So-called leader has just lost their touch, they are obsess with power and rights forgetting that the main purpose is to lead this country. How can they(leaders of out nation) lead this country while still fighting who stand above all. Suppose time on tinkering how the nation should be, thinking of ideas on how to develop the country instead, they took the time to talk unrelated things.

I do not see the way Malaysia is heading except for the repeat of 13th May. Do they talk about the nation in the future? What the nation focus is now and then? All I can read about is race issues, spearhead an unity of one race and criticizing other race. Come on, racism is SO YESTERDAY. We are living in the era of high technology but the way we think is still in the 80's.

Recently the 1 Malaysia email. Yup that is a way, let the nation know and know what is the respond of citizen then only decide whether to go on with this project. We are democratic country, we citizen want to play a role in leading Malaysia too. Instead of using only the ministers and highly people brain, why not use a whole nation brain.

Interview Result

2011-04-22T02:09:00.001-07:00

Wheeeeeeeee. I am CHOSEN to be in part of the mobility program to Indonesia. Gosh. Euphoric? Erm, kind of no feeling about it. What? I do not know. I am going there to gain knowledge and explore more about the earth, so I already set my heart if I can get then go else just stay here and continue to see what God is preparing for me.

Next semester will be spend in Indonesia. Works and problem already being surface! Aiyo. Need to do this and that. Search this and that. Isn't it troublesome? Plus I will be encountering subject that I will be taken in my 3rd year! Hallelujah? Not forgetting my Workshop 1 is going to be done there also.

A prize come with a prize huh. Adoi. Yet, something that I notice is that, almost all my friend want me to get a girlfriend as quick as possible. What the!? They are so enthusiastic to see what kind of girlfriend that I want? Nope. Love is not condition. I do not believe in quick love or some dramatic scene like in the movies. HAHA! Love at first sight or blah blah blah blah. Love is special. That is all. That is why God love us!! Woohooo. Amen!

Interview

2011-04-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

So freaking happy and so freaking nervous that I got chosen to be interviewed to go for mobility program(student exchange) in Indonesia. Tomorrow is the day to be interview. Gosh. Am I excited or not. It is my dream to go for student exchange once I set foot on university. And my dreams is almost coming to reality!

My love for my university is simply awesome. Not because it is top ranking university (the matter of fact it did not make it in top 20 ranking in Malaysia either) but it is simply love huh. Knowledge can be found everywhere no matter where you are. True enough. It is simply the question of whether you are dedicated or not.

I need to learn more to teach people more! Yea, that is why I love traveling in the same time cause when you come home, you are wiser! Reason? Do go traveling then you will find out. Our eyes are just blinded by what we see here but we did not see what is happening outside here. Limitation, we think too easily than it is suppose to be only to be defy when we see what is really happening outside there.

That all for now! Bye! Love you my beloved reader! =)

Smile and God will smile upon you. Sad and God will shower you with comfort. Stress and God will bring relieve upon you. Uneasy and God will give you peace.

Uncomfortable Position

2011-04-17T18:04:00.000-07:00

It is definitely weird have to sit around with a group of people who knew each other and I do not even know THEM. Talking about every minute is like an hour. Did not know that my friends will brought for lunch with other people. Thus the situation is spell as C-R-A-Z-Y!

I am sorry that I did not talk much or I did not even talk cause it is very rare for me to be able to adapt in a group of people. Give me a few then I might be. Not kind of use to this situation where almost everyone is enigma for me.

Phew, it is over as you can see. Hallelujah? NO! I need to learn how to socialize! Rather than always stick with my group of close friends. It is good actually to stay close to a group of close friends. I am not saying it is wrong. I just need to learn how to socialize if there is a lot of unknown people. If there is a few unknown people and a group of my friends then it is different story. I know how to welcome new people!

The situation is completely vice-versa, I am in a very uncomfortable position. Urgh. IT is my weakness in the field of socializing. Damn.

Last Day of Semester 2

2011-04-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

Today marks the last day of SEMESTER 2!!! Hell yeah. After this is about waking up late and slept more than 10 hours everyday. Not forgetting FINALS. How I wish there is no examination and everything is done by project.

Did I told you that my university marks scheme is different from others? First of all, do try ti understand the name of University Technical Malaysia Malacca. The word TECHNICAL is obvious intriguing. Almost every semester we need to do project!

Watching and learning all kind of programming code is being a norm here whereas other university, in computer science field, they trained their student to specialize in one language. Different story here, where we are expose to various kind of coding. Thereby, doing a programming of 100 lines is a normal thing here.

Recent, done a coding consist of 200 lines. Damn. I feel so geeky and nerdy now BUT of course, I am a sportsman and I MISS playing sport! Urgh. Feels like taking a golf stick and banging all the computers here.

Actually this computer field is kind of fun as you can know many kind of knowledge about what you are seeing in front of you now. Very interesting indeed. 2 more weeks until then. Cannot wait. Wait a second, I need to WORK this holidays!

Need to save money for my granddaugther wedding in the future! Can you imagine that I got two granddaugther?

Mentally Tired

2011-04-11T04:27:00.000-07:00

I do not have anything to say at the moment as I feel mentally tired. Which is worse than physical tiredness I have to say.

Until the end, I will still hold on to you LORD. You have already foretold me in my dreams that DO NOT GIVE UP BUT GIVE IN. I know what is meant by being held by You.

It Ain't Over

2011-04-10T03:34:00.000-07:00

It ain't over until God say it is over. Keep fighting until victory is won.

Nice lyrics by Maurette Brown Clark in "It Ain't Over". I being listening to hymns ever since 2 years ago.

I didn't know what is the latest song now not even singer nowadays. Or perhaps, even Justin Bieber. Who the hack is that? Heard he make girls AWOL in this dimension. Must be pretty awesome eh.

Today is such a great day I must say. Not because something awesome happened but just the love of the LORD is being shinning today. Such a blessed Sabbath. Let's us end one hell of a week with Jesus being amidst of us.

Being Nurtured

2011-04-09T02:33:00.001-07:00

Yet again, my roommate is sick. Last semester, my roommate is sick also. Am I really that badluck? Gosh. Well, that is meant by God is nurturing me to be caring. How to take care of sick people and how to be caring towards another. (which I am really bad at since I was being train to be independent since I was young.)

Too independent is a bad thing. When all we know is how to take care of ourselves and no clue how to take care of other people feelings. Awww. Thank you Lord for showing me a way to be caring. I may be bad at this, but I will try Lord.

I feel I am really abnormal to show my caring side. *HAHAHAHAHA* Damn.

Zombie In The Making

2011-04-07T19:34:00.000-07:00

Achievement of yesterday. I went back to hostel at 11p.m. Damn freaking tired, anybody knew the existence of so called matlab program? Think twice when you want to take mathematics as your course next time. Unfortunately matlab does not deal only mathematics, worse, artificial intelligence.

Talking about staring at my labtop for the whole day, consequently causing red eyes. Look like a zombie in Resident Evil. Please do not try to kill me next time you saw me.

I felt like I am in between heaven and earth already. Floating in the middle, as if my brain is floating somewhere leaving my body intact. I think I am going to have brain dead, due to dying of neuron if this continue for another semester.

For not such reason, I CAME to my university even I do not have a class!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Due to? None other than ASSIGNMENT. You definitely do not want a lecturer with a doctor name on it to teach you. It would treat you like a MASTER student. Damn.

Turning Point

2011-04-07T01:24:00.000-07:00

Turning point leads to great victory and great lost. As we see or have studies or perhaps heard about great war or battle history, we often feel great after reading a great victory when everything is against them but in the end, they reign in triumph.

Our life implies the same, when we are at the point where we are on verge of failures and many work need to be done in a short time, this could be YOUR turning point. This could be your great victory in your life or the worst defeat in your life.

As decision leads toward great victory, we must have to made a decision for our life in those time. To give up or to give in. Not forgetting, strategic in charging is always futile (work sometimes and it is costly) while mastermind strategy against the battle is always fruit full.

Spoke through Experience

2011-04-06T04:46:00.000-07:00

Just recently, due to my carelessness, I lost my pencil case which I left it in the lecture room. Argh. My pendrive was inside. Luckily didn't have any important document inside. Plus it is nearing the finals, all my pen and mechanical pencil which accompany me all this while is LOST.

Though such small thing cannot bring me down. For the LORD tells me in the book of Psalm:

A righteous heart will rise up even he falls seven times.

Yet, how many times should I forgive people with such heart want to steal other people stuff? I have being robbed before, lost my motorcycle, and now pencil case (with pendrive inside).

Not seven times, but seventy-seven times you must forgive them.

The understanding of the decrees of the LORD is being lighted in the unfortunate event, for in Psalm 119:33-36:

Teach me, O LORD, to follow your decrees;
then I will keep them to the end.
Give me understanding, and I will keep your
law and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in path of your commands,
for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.

I am ALIVE

2011-04-05T03:30:00.000-07:00

I being quite a long time since I blog. Being busy, busy, busy, busy and busy on something not important actually. People thinking I am missing but actually I am quite well alive here. Time move so fast isn't it?

Of all things, with projects pending and being add-in more and more towards ending of semester, I still have time to do my friend assignment!!! Damn, sitting for 5 hours doing the assignment. Actually it is assignment from my friend in other university. Principles of friends above works comes to play, and there it goes.

Currently in the state of dilemma here. Argh! But, by God mercy, I know I can! ROAR! Oh, did I told you that I apply for mobility program which I will be doing my 2nd year 1st semester in Indonesia at Semarang? Hope I will get it. =D

The reason is? I need to gain new knowledge and different perspective view. I need to see what is unseen and feel. Perhaps, they said a lot of pretty girls there? Neh. I always escape from this topic of love. Why? Because I have lost my love one once, thus I am scare to love someone again. Yup, trauma of love. You think I am weird? Well that is just the beginning.

The Only Phrases

2011-03-29T02:59:00.000-07:00

This week is like crazy as semester is ending. Thus crazy moment leads to crazy dreams? Having some weird dream lately. Gosh. One thing weird is that, this is the first time I actually remembered a phase from my dream after living for 21 years on this earth.

"Do not give up, but give in to problem."

Woke up straight away after I heard this word in my dream upon noticing it was morning already. This phrases had since being running through my mind ever since. God has spoken to me, not to give up, but to give in.

Peace or Disaster

2011-03-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

Disaster brings unity, peace brings disintegration. Or is it suppose to be the other way round. If a nation in a disaster, every nation will be willing to help and throw away their grudges. But when everything is in peace, all they have is to criticize each other and feud being blow up. So do not ask why suffering are allow in our life.

Our true characteristic are shown during difficult times. The best way in expressing yourselves are during what you do in those time. Sometimes it even show out your HIDDEN talent which have being long hidden inside yourself like an ancient artifact. Is is either precious or no value.

Disaster in physical view, it crumble houses, washes away our credit and take away life. In spiritual view, it breaks the wall of pride, greed and self-centeredness. It serve as a reminder of what pride, greed and self-centeredness can do. Which is to divide us.

Living in far too comfortable is not good either. It is just like a child being pampered and actually spoil the real life when they grown up. If we keep feeding them, they are blinded on how it works on the other way round.

Sense of Thinking

2011-03-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

All that is, 5 senses in our body. The 6th sense are more to supernatural I guess? The sense of thinking, every human have the ability to think. Every living things on the earth can think! So do not think you are stupid. You are stupidly enough to think you cannot think because what you are doing now is thinking!

The world crisis demonstrate on how you we actually think. There is a video of our beloved Prime Minister wife criticizing the Japanese of building hazardous structure. I do not think and affirm that they would respond to that.

In the crisis and difficulties they encounter, we can actually saw what is blossom in a great nation. They actually dealt with so much peace in them, not pushing any panic button as they have being landed the worst earthquake since 1930. How discipline they are when lining up toward obtaining supplies and buying grocery amidst the chaos.

I have being heard that they are not ready to receive supplies from other nation. Ready hmmmm, what READY? Can you imagine how organize they are? Not rushing into things to prevent any further damage and unwanted issues. There is not even looting being reported happening there.

A truly great nation they are. Not that they love their own country, they even love and respect one another. All I see in their thinking is that they just hope everyone will be safe and sound. Everything will be under control back to normal.

How vast their level of thinking. Are Malaysia ready to be declare as a developed nation? There is no point in having high technology but our mind is still grounded.

I Ask For A Sign

2011-03-13T06:10:00.000-07:00

I ask for a sign. A sign to tell me why such things is happening in my life. Perhaps why does God allow it to happen. There are many things in our life that need explanation on why such things occurred does not it?

All the things that happen are explain after it happened. Just like our studies. We only understand after we study. As I browse through my mobile phone. I came across a picture I took while I was in National Conference.

A picture of sunset. How beautiful it is. Isn't it? The sun is setting down, are not it suppose to be sad? Day comes to an end but why such beautiful event can occur. In the afternoon, it scorch the earth but in the evening, it radian peacefully capturing God magnificent image of the world.

There the sign. Even it is sad or despairing. There is a slight glimpse of beautiful. Shine like a sunset when you are down because you may be a sunset in a memory.

Disaster

2011-03-12T04:02:00.000-08:00

Even receiving the news of my motorbike in Penang was stolen could not dampen my spirit when I saw the image and videos of earthquake in Japan.

Such disastrous earthquake. Imagine the building being shaken like coconut trees, the fear in them running towards safety and nuclear reactor in unstable condition.

The news resonance my feeling of earthquake which landed in Penang years ago. My home is shaken and I thought I was going to die. My imagination has gone wild and I predict how the building will collapse.

Those thief that stole my bike, why would you rob from the poor? Are not the poor suffer like you do? I guess the thief does not know how hard it is to collect money and afford a motorbike. While car is not even an option. *Sigh*

I am in crushed spirit. The world is haywire and insane. People in Malaysia has being living in far comfortable. One day if natural disaster strike Malaysia and endure such earthquake and tsunami, I guess you would know when to stop stealing things. Remember nothing is impossible even we are on the disaster free area.

Tsunami and earthquake has occurred in Malaysia. We still here politic thinking and fighting who reign supreme. Middle east is in unrest. Yet still fight for power and religious supremacy.

It is near I believe.

He Hears Us

2011-03-10T18:13:00.000-08:00

In the amidst of hectic and busy schedule, my mind being intoxicated by emotion feeling, body being drained out of energy and unease at all time, it is hard to find inner peace. I just found out what really is the term called 'busy'.

One could imagine a pop (sudden) quiz, and who could imagine a sudden exam?!?! Given one day to study while a day full of lectures is there even time to study? Gosh. My thoughts crumble in a split second upon hearing the exam announcement.

Out of my very self nature of study hard and discipline myself in my hostel room, I seek upon the LORD first and pray about it. I being thinking about skipping classes just for study and all sort of unwanted schemes.

After I pray, instead of thinking of chapters in my studies, I remember a verse in Ecclesiastes chapter 11 verse 6.

Sow your seed in the morning,

and at evening let not your hands be idle,

for you do not know which will succeed,

whether this or that,

or whether both will do equally well.

And I was thinking, He hears me. I do not know whether I am able to succeed to cover all the chapter or given slides in a limited and short time, but He told me to go and continue your study whether you can make it or not. Let not my hand be idle after study. It spoken to me, at least you come out with something after you have done the best you can give.

Disbelieve, the lecture suppose to be canceled on that day of exam is as usual. I shall not take that reason to dampen my spirit and continue in trusting the LORD.

Disbelieve yet again, tomorrow morning I went to lecture! Unbelievable, I receive news that one lectures and one lab is canceled! Given me a free time of half a day to do my best and sit the exam at night! Hallelujah! How many unbelievable story you can get when you trust in the LORD.

Memories of the Past

2011-03-06T16:56:00.000-08:00

Memories of the past,

still haunted in my mind,

like it was ever last,

unseen chain I am bind.

Unseen by eyes,

I am love,

untouch by your hand,

Your presence I felt.

The days when you gone,

clear in my thoughts,

as if angel came,

greeted you to heaven.

You are now with the LORD,

worldly feeling have been lifted,

feeling free as an eagle,

Soaring high in the sky.

How I wish to be with you,

yet earthly matter are yet to be fulfill,

for still many things I cannot comprehend,

but Your love is all I need.

I opened the window,

gaze upon the sky,

it feels like I was upon the same place,

as if it was memories of the past.

Chasing After Wind

2011-03-03T05:56:00.000-08:00

Am I chasing after wind? A wind. Makes you feel good and nice.

Can't be seen and can't be caught.

But only let you feel.

Am I chasing it?

One Hell of A Week

2011-02-25T19:29:00.000-08:00

One hell of a week, 2 exams, 2 labtest, 1 assignment needed to be completed. Things just could not have gone worse. Well, I AM STILL ALIVE!

Come to think of it, I did not even know how I went through all these hectic schedule yet pressuring condition. Urgh. When comes to studying, I am the last, BUT when come to games, I smile from ear to ear. WAHAHAHA.

One thing for sure, I could not have gone through without serenity of God presence and His grace. Blessed be the name of the Lord. I have come to my unrealistic expectation of myself again and He knows how to bring me down. I needed that God. Hallelujah.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom!

Happy Promise

2011-02-21T05:49:00.000-08:00

I recently got a message from my friend. After receiving good news from my friend. I feel so happy because it is really a big good news. So happy for my friend. My friend then promise me I will be more happier by next week.

I thought my friend is going to keep the word. So I waited and waited. Waiting happily. Appreciating every single bit of minutes. Then it come to this, nothing happened. *Hahahahaha* I was wondering there is nothing actually making me happier except that I think some happy moment is going come true.

I feel happy when I expect something good to happen. Then I was thinking, Jesus our Abba, promise us to wait upon Him for the second coming. I have this feeling of happiness reeking through my nerve out of sudden.

Jesus is coming back! We did not know when but I know this, we shall wait upon Him happily because something good is going to happen! (His second coming)

This incident happened weeks ago. Our life is a parable and is trying to tell us something important. Not by your eyes, not by your understanding. But by the Holy Spirit and the Fear of the Lord.

Your Love

2011-02-18T17:46:00.000-08:00

I come before You,

Evil I abhor,

Your holiness are supreme,

consecrate I be.

Your love for me,

replenish my soul,

Knowing you my lord happiness I felt.

Snowstorm breeze,

frozen I feel,

In my heart are warmth

burning by your love.

my hand are clasped

shivering I am

Your presence Oh Lord

are like a sun to me.

Sabbath

2011-02-13T07:31:00.000-08:00

The Lord created earth for 6 days and rested on the 7th day.

We shall honour Sabbath.

But we have to honour 6 days of working.

Amen.

Tear From Heaven

2011-02-11T18:51:00.002-08:00

Of all things, we often forgotten what really important in our life and deviated from our real purpose as we journey on. I on the other hand, has forgotten what really important for me. I felt something is missing in me. Where has my joy and the love has gone too? I have lost it.

I tried so hard to find it back. Reading and searching from the Bible. I realize I have quench the spirit. I have become exhausted. When all things seems to press hard on me like my brain being cooked up like a pressure cooker.

I have being on the treadmill, keep on running, but still on the very same place. That's the point I surrender everything to God and look up to Jesus. You told me this:

Faith, Hope and Love. The greatest of these is LOVE.

It is not how hard I work, how dedicated I work, but to fill myself with love and do with passion for God. Not about trying harder, it is about trying softer. Trying with love. Pursuit in happiness. Suffering and hardship describe only on my situation. It is not my feeling, but I make the word becoming my feeling.

If I say,"Surely darkness will hide me and light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

Psalm 139:11-12

LORD, I may have lost the passion,

but I have not forgotten you LORD, for You give me salvation.

I say, "I will hide in darkness"

For you, darkness is as light to your Holiness.

LORD, who sit on the throne of Heaven,

He who hear my cry for He will listen.

On the very morning, I cry

and You love me so that I try

To walk like when I was a child,

falling, injure with hope, I blissfully walk in mild

Tear from my eyes falling down,

for I endure such pain, yet I know those are tears from Heaven pouring down

as I have reach my Father arm.

Testimony

2011-02-09T06:14:00.000-08:00

All praises and glory be to Lord Jesus. I was jam and stuck while doing some assignment given by lecturer. Frustrated by the incapability of doing I almost given up. The phrase I remember in the book of Proverb 14:23:

All hard work brings a profit; but mere talk leads only to puberty.

I was lying down on my bed, closing my eyes, then I remember this phase. All I was thinking is the word hard work and talk. In my mind keep recursive the word hard work, hard work and hard work. Echoing in my brain.

I got up and pray to the Lord, (which that time I reminded of Jesus always pray when He is uneasy, challenge and need guidance.)

Continue to do the work, I was in disbelieve that I actually can do! I quickly fall down and praise the Lord. Before this, I was wondering, why is that LORD is far away from me or have forsaken me. Actually, He is nearer than you think. All you need is to talk to Him. Just like children who needs their parents when in need of help. Just like us who are His son/daughter.

Lost and Found

2011-02-06T05:51:00.000-08:00

I was kind of lost for awhile, and I found back myself! Some battle with my mind and feelings. Thank God! I do need to be keep remind again and again. Argh. Want to know how lost am I?

I lost the sense of going to Church, I lost the sense to be around with people. I started to isolated myself again. Why? Because there is a nature in me that I prefer to be a ghost. I need reasons to function. If there is no reason, I am gone for. Some logical brain I have.

Going into some deep thoughts mode again. Exploring deep in my mind. Shall I say "I bring destruction upon myself." HAHAHAHA.

"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." Psalm 119:50

Happy Chinese New Year!

2011-02-02T06:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year wishes from Apek. Consider rare that I celebrated Chinese New Year in Penang, where usually I will follow my brother back to Pulau Langkawi to visit my mother family side, but why not try a different style this year and celebrate with my father.

Apart of celebrating, I was hearing my father history how Chinese celebrate this festive event last time. By the way he spoken, I can feel he miss the environment once it use to be. By the by, he told me how last time Penang was. The land geographical and so on. He said something which caught my attention, "That's life.". That statement send an electrical pulse running through my whole body nerve.

Everyone has its own definition of life. I am fascinate by the way he define life is. (His very own unique way of living.) *smile*

Syndrome

2011-02-01T02:55:00.000-08:00

I hate it when people say they are coming but in the end, they have to cancelled it last minute. I am here not to curse anyone or pinpoint but let just say giving a lesson. What if someone who hold dear to you or someone you love broke your promise? What would you have felt? Even if it is just a friend, you could not already kept it what say when you are in a relationship or dealing business.

I on the other hand learnt the lesson the hard way, I have a syndrome of punctuality where I will always arrive on time or perhaps earlier a bit because when I was a kid, where my parents were still around for me, they always come late not by minutes but hours. I am always the last person will be in school during my primary years. Imagine what would I felt. Disappointed, angry and lonely. I always keep an eye on every car that pass by putting hope that it is my parents car.

In the end, when I was older, they ask me, how do you feel when we came late or did not came in the end when we promise what time we will arrive. (I answer them straight away what I feel.) They answered, you know, by that you actually learned how important it is to be punctual and how precious time is. (Of course, you are not perfect and not all the time you can punctual but try your best to be on time, because it would meant a lot to that person.) I just realize they purposely arrive late so that I learn the lesson the hard way.

I do have another syndrome, when I promise things, I always kept to it. The main reason behind this, is that when I was young, I usually promise my mother to not simply go anywhere and stay at home. I promise this and that, conclusion, I break all the promises ended up got cane and angry due to just little promise. (In other words, promises that are not usually important or serious.)

Years has passed, she has passed away, now I could not even promise a single thing to her. By that, I regretted my whole life that I never kept my promise to her. There is not a second chance or even FIRST chance. Moral of the story, always try your best to keep promise and not simply say a promise. You may not have a chance to give a promise.

I was Born

2011-01-30T08:14:00.000-08:00

I was born to be different. I guess everyone does. The feeling of envy indulge us until we have forgotten about our real identity. Which makes me think when my pastor preach, only mankind has trouble on identity. I have a flow in me which always make me to go against the flow of mankind. Which make me sometimes people think I am weird.

I tend to runaway too. I do not like to be in spotlight because the light is too bright for me to handle. I do not feel comfortable. I prefer to live in a shadow, under His wings. Where it is calm and not chaos mentally and physically.

I love to talk, not about which girls are prettiest and smartest neither do which guys is well accepted by girls or which guys is smartest and greatest. What I love to talk is about life. Too bad, everyone try to escape this topic.

Today we live are a result what has happened in our past. So today you live is the result of your future.

21st Birthday (28th January)

2011-01-30T07:44:00.000-08:00

On the day when I was born, I spend almost half of the day sitting in the bus coming back to Penang from Malacca. Which sometimes makes me ponder to come home everytime there is holiday.

21 years old already. The age where people usually said receiving key to freedom. Actually I already receive the key when I was 13 years old. I can go out all night everytime. My father prefer more westernize style of raising me up. But I know the limit. Love between us is so strong that we can read other mind without uttering any single word. Telepathic communication.

Eventhough it's being 21 years, I still wish I did not born. Why? It is complicated. That is why I want people to forget the day I was born. Purposely deleted my birthday on Facebook so that people will just past the day as usual.

I recently discover more and more about myself. On this age I discover what I am:

I am a thinker, hold passion for truth-even when it is costly. Have conviction of being right can lead to arrogance(which make me everytime I pray to be humble). Can be tempted to withdraw from relationships and love. (Prove to be right through my love experience.) Best part of the summary is that I am lover of logic. In the end, who said a man cannot survive on a island.

Smash! Priang

2011-01-18T20:55:00.000-08:00

Things has gotten, well I guess? Okay, I am lost. Once again, I being mould, beaten, smash and being twisted by God again. My spirit seeking in truth has lead me into trouble in my mind.

I am mixing everything now and I need to reshuffle back again, oh priorities to be precise. So many things has happened in succession, I could not swallow all of it. There it goes, I am LOST. Direction in life has branched into many roads making my head goes question mark.

Imagine standing in front where there is so many road lead to without any sign board telling you where is the destination. Gasp. The deeper I go, the more amazed I am and becoming more clueless. I wish I were standing still but I can't. I NEED to MOVE.

Weird case scenario, I am enjoying on my condition of thinking many things. Simply fascinating. Ever feel, being lost while walking somewhere and after all the walking, direction seeking and sensing you reach the destination. Euphoria!

Masterpiece need time and skills. The process is always unique. Concentration and focus are needed. If you know what you are going to be. But the question is which road should I take?

Heart Pain

2011-01-12T17:43:00.000-08:00

Over exercise or eating too much oily food. My heart is aching not literally but physically. Feels like a heart attack? HAHAHAHA. Gosh, how can I be laughing.

This is SOMETHING SERIOUS!!! Chest pain or heart pain, I do not know. But it occur sometimes only. Feels like my vein is being clogged by cholesterol. It is inside my body so I cannot be precise.

Do remind that it is not some girl broke my heart or something else! It is in term of medicine field I am talking about here. Sign of old age? Oh well, for now, we live on~

A Brand New Day

2011-01-09T02:45:00.000-08:00

Everyday is a brand new day to live in. It is a good thing to hear new year is a brand new year to live in while making resolutions. But one thing caught my attention is, why only new year that people started to aim for new goal or continue their yet to be accomplish target.

Is it because of the 'NEW' word that caught our mind attention? From what I have being thinking is, everyday is a brand new day to live in. You do not have to wait for the beginning of the year, month, day or tomorrow, you can started it right now!

New year of course brought new zest in our life. That's good.

Keeping the enthusiasm along the way is important. It is for you to know what made you to be here today preventing you from lost in the middle of the journey. Other commitments may come along the way, priorities is the way to keep things right.

Many No's make a Yes.

I admit that sometimes we give up to easily. I do give up. When things did not go well as I plan or that I fail in reaching my target. Dissatisfied easily.

I have lost, but I found a way to win.

We often focus on how we lost and found a way to win, but effort to win often lapse. Raphl Waldo Emerson quote:

"Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it."

In all similarities in books that I read, all have the same concept of living today as the last day you would have live.

Oh, by the way, it certainly helps me in thinking of how my life should by questioning myself this question:

"What would you expect to see, hear and known for when it is the last moment you close you eyes eternally on earth?(In simple word, when you are dying)"

I Am H-E-AL-T-H-Y

2011-01-08T00:21:00.000-08:00

I really thank God that He protected me and shield me from any sickness and diseases as I have not being sick for 3 years in a row! Amen! Starting of new semester, the news of my friends fall sick keep on increasing one after another.

No thanks to the unpredictable weather nowadays, where it sometimes SUPER hot and SUPER cold make our immune system weak.

I thought of some ways to stay healthy:

1) Exercise. Don't need aggressively or 30 minutes per day. I just live out by a bit of dance movement, doing some awful ballet while listening to music. Flex your body and it flex your health. Do not be static and keep on moving!

2)Use fan not air-conditioner. There is a reason why God make cold and hot weather. For you to stay healthy! If everday you stay in a air-conditioner room, you would not be familiar with the hot weather which makes you fall sick when you went out too long or baked under the hot sun. Enjoy hot being hot and cold being cold.

3)Mentality. They say a happy heart make a healthy life. Don't need scientific evidence to prove that, you already know it. Living in an era of science, sometimes, science cannot just prove everything.

4)Drink water. Do you know why you drink water? Don't need to write essay here. You know yourself. =P

So, are you healthy? *wink*

Nation Truth?

2011-01-07T06:04:00.000-08:00

Hidden truth is being kept away from us. A movie about Malaysia is being ban here but is aired in Singapore make it even more controversial. Why? Because it shows the true history as the history we study in school has being twisted!

What in the world is happening nowadays? Why truth has to be kept away from us. Ever since big incident issue being risen up and suddenly vapour into thin air got me curious. Does the nation leaders really keeping the real truth from us and bending every issue to manipulate us, perhaps I have to say, CHEAT us?!?!

I hardly trust the newspaper news anymore and the recent cases of the verdict of Teoh Beng Hock is simply missing something. The weird statement and reasoning caught my curiosity. Where is the justice. Something is being hidden from us again!

Politician are trying to divert the issue by bringing in another issue to fool us brothers and sisters! Why all the hot topic in Malaysia the last few years has gone cold and not being publish has got my attention.

Politician know how to play with mouth yet fail in deliver. What the good of having a 24 hours fm that talks and promises things that they cannot keep? Are you people so afraid of losing? Scare?

Humans are not mere toys for your information.

Price of items has gone up yet our salary move just an inch and you expect us to survive and minister talk about Malaysia as developing country? Thought for a second, a country where citizen hardly survive and we are expecting country to be developed?

There is a reason why some people did not come out to vote during election time. The news has stated the mysterious missing voter. I can simply conclude, they do not care about the nation because they simply do not trust any of the existing leaders able to lead us into a new era.

Wa la. Problem solved. When things comes to money and image, politician will become prima donna, even the best artist in the world also lose.